Happy Birthday To Me!

I'm still in Sweden, woke up feeling grateful for all the opportunities I've gotten but also a lot anxious because of my birthday, let's just say it's not my favourite day of the year. I have no idea, but it makes me sad. 

To steer my focus on to something else, I'm going to try and remember all the good things that happened 2018, especially for my career. 

ACTING

Movies I've done: 

Chase (2019)

Erin (2019)

JOY (2018)

In & Out (2018)

Pagan Holidays (2018)

The Reel (2018) 

Theater: 

Pelle Svanslös

Auditions I've booked (upcoming): 

DMV (2019) (filming this spring?)

I've learnt so much from being on set, Chase was so different from Erin for example, indie feature vs Short film. I can't say much about Chase because I was only there a day, but they were super nice. For Erin, since I was the lead I was there all the days and loved every second of it. I've never felt so special ever, they made me feel like I was important and what I did mattered. I loved that they were making sure I was comfortable, asking if I needed anything, checked on me every now and then. The Script supervisor was a fucking legend, super nice and helpful. Also working with Miles was just amazing, he's gonna be big for sure, he's so fucking talented, the way he worked with me was just a dream for any actor. Having a conversation about each scene before shooting is everything for me, then I don't have to think "is this what the director wants", instead I could focus on just being in the moment, listening   to my co actors. 

Being on set is HOME! 

I can't wait to get started on the next project, I felt after Erin that I levelled up! I'm now ready for more, and I'll tell my self to be more relaxed because everything will come to you when you're on set if you are prepared. 

CASTING

Castings I've done: 

Jennifer Lopez "Dinero" (2018)

Sycuan Casino (2018)

Maroon 5 "Three Little Birds" (2018)

Jockey Underwear 

Idrasil 

Loma Linda Hospital

Sharknade 6 (2018)

WAV

Caviar (2019)

Reader: 

Stones (with Judy) (2019)

I definitely like casting, and EVERYONE at DK Casting, but I know it's not what I want to do full time and for the rest of my life. I appreciate both David and Judy enormously, they've both become sort of like mentors. Maybe when I'm older I might go back and focus on casting full-time  but right now having it as my side job is perfect. I'm learning so much about acting and the industry. I definitely want it close to me still, plus I need the money. 

FRIENDS:

I've made so many great friends both in the industry and outside of the profession. I couldn't be more thankful! We've had many great adventures together, Hikes, Parties, Premiers, Restaurant visits etc. Everything you need in life! Both with my friends from Sweden and LA. 

MOVIE EXPERIENCES:

Let's just say Movie Pass and now AMC stud is the best thing ever happened to the entertainment industry. I'm a proud member of AMC Stud, and get to go to the movies 3 times a week for only $20, it's crazy! I've had many great movie experiences this year, not only in the theatres but at home. Netflix did great this year. By next year I'll be doing them for sure!! 

1. Anything with Timotheé Chalamet!!

2. The Favourite 

3. The Ballad of Buster Scruggs

4. Jonathan

5. Boy Erased 

6. Mid 90's

7. Bohemian Rhapsody 

8. Beautiful Boy 

9. Bad times at the El Royale 

10. Boys in the Trees 

11. American Animals 

12. Hereditary

13. Logan

14. Start Wars last j

15. A Quiet place 

16: Avengers: infinity War

17: Solo

18: Assassination Nation  

CHASE

For ever thankful for the guy to the right (Michael - Director) who casted me in his film. It was such a great shoot, had a lot of fun and they were so friendly. I would work with him over and over again! August 10 2018! 

CASTING

 



I'm happy to report that I've been promoted to Jr.Casting Director. I just love this place, they've taught me A LOT, and I'm forever thankful. I really enjoy the casting process actually, both Extras casting and Principle. I hope I can balance acting with casting because right now I don't want to give up either. 

Anniversary

It's been months since I last updated this journal. I'm just too lazy to think of stuff to write even though I have a bunch of stuff on my mind. It's almost been a year since I moved to Los Angeles. Our 1 year anniversary is coming up, September 13 2018. It's crazy!!! Time is my biggest obstacle right now, it moves so quickly over here. 

A bunch of stuff have happened, I've been filming a lot, finished a Stalker scene, Chase, and a few student films. I feel like I never know what I'm doing, I don't really know who I am until I'm in the scene (still working on being in the moment, and letting myself be), even though I've been acting for years I feel like I'm starting over every time I start a new project or start prepping a new character. 
I get so heady, which is something I gotta accept and work with instead of working against. 

I'm officially done with school, and the Acting Certificate. It's been a tough year, testing my emotions, strength nerves and confidence. It's definitely been a roller coaster, lots of up and downs. This last quarter was tough, I've been feeling exhausted, like I could really need a vacation. I wanna just live for 2 weeks without thinking about acting. I gotta work on living, really living  here and now. I'm in my room writing this, next thing I know I'm in my head thinking "where will I be in 3 years, will I make it". It's interesting how our mind works (now I'm getting deep). I'm really excited for the future, once I clear my mind I feel like everything is gonna be fine. Something just tells me, I'm gonna make it. I just need to overcome my inner critic, shut him up and go with my impulses. So from now on I shall report on my progress. 

Oh and I'm counting hours (spent on acting, from August) 
Hours Spent: 600 / 10.000 

Update

So a lot have happened since I left Sweden this after the holidays. The anxiety has gone up and down and I've been contemplating if I'm ever enough. That's just my other thinking brain thinking... 

I'm taking the Meisner class which I enjoy very much. Our teacher is a legend, really knows what he's talking about and is good at communicating and explaining. I've learnt so much. 

My improv class is also very interesting, so difficult, but I learn a lot, and I really like our teacher there too. I think a lot of people misunderstand her, but she's speaking the truth. 

I've been doing really good in my english class, which gives me a little more confidence. Still need to work on that and let myself fail- baby steps.

I'm taking Yoga classes which is fucking amazing! 

I got an internship at a casting company, they're awesome. I didd my first reading with the actors yesterday and helped out slating and giving directions. I'm really lucky I found that place. Looking forward to grow with them and become better. 

I'm working on a experimental short film, finished shooting - just gotta edit it together and find the right music. 

I love Hollywood and LA so much. I really hope I can find a way to stay here and make America my country too. 

Merry Christmas

Woke up early and rested this morning (again, thanks to jet lag) It's Christmas Eve, the day Sweden celebrates Christmas. But I don't really feel Christmassy at all. All I want for Christmas is to be home watching films eat lots of food and enjoy a whole day of relaxation. We'll see about that, I've got a feeling I'll be going all around town today. 

I've felt like something is missing for a few days now, and all I can think of is that I miss LA, I miss my new friends in LA, I miss the magically feeling I get in LA. I want to go back, filming working on my craft and write stories. I really want to find inspiration to writing my stalking experience both as a book and a movie script, It's left a mark on me that I can't quite leave alone, I feel like I have to deal with it, and this is my way of dealing with it! 

I'm gonna make my days mission to stay at home with mom and her partner, watch a film and enjoy Christmas! 

Merry Christmas

Coming home for Christmas

This is what I call quality time! Looking out the window to find the  whole neighbourhood covered in snow, updating the blog and now about to read all the special editions of TIME. Gonna do some christmas present prepping later too and then a holiday roast dinner with the family tonight. Happy Holidays!