Covers

Literally getting shit done. I've finished 3 different covers, and I'm thinking I'll use the one in the middle. Looking forward to the release 22 January 2017. I'm looking in to Itunes and Vimeo and how we can sell it there. There is a lot more to be done, but we're getting there.

London Lock up

Good morning London and Kilburn, 
I woke up with a lot of energy, finally feeling rested. I had a cup of tea and a nut bar for breakfast, and then it began. 
I started filming "The realm of a Psychopath" and I I'm pretty happy with it so far. It will be an Artsy, Drama short film about Heath Ledger locking himself up in a hotel room for 30 days in preparation for the role as JOKER in "The Dark Knight". 

I've used all the facts I found about his stay in London and that hotel room and then I've used my own creativity and imagination to fill up the blanks. I think I've done a pretty good job so far, and this will be part of a bigger project that I started and is working on parallel to this. I'll be done shooting on Tuesday. 

Soon I'll head out to get a Starbucks coffee! 

Book Launch reflecting

 


Went to my friend Bjorn's book Launch last night and I didn't know what to expect. I just wanted to have a good time, mingle, eat, drink and get the book. 
Did I have a good time?? YES, it was an amazing evening, with lots of amazing people, people I hadn't seen in ages. I took the time to just listen and watch what was going on, and I got so much out of it. I gave it all day to let it sink in, and I feel like I'm reborn.  Everything that was said tester day is what I've been wanting to hear and wanting to find. I can only sum it up by saying it was amazing. Bjorn is an incredible inspiration and brilliant writer, I was hooked by the first pages in the book, he's been though a lot and I can relate to a lot of it, and I think most people who're fighting for something can! 

So it's Sunday, I've done the laundry, made dinner, read a few chapters in the book, watched Seahawks football highlights and been daydreaming about America, Christmas, Thanksgiving and the Wizarding World. My mind feels rested, the imaginary brain half is blooming. 
I also started collecting quotes in a notebook I got as a present for my show. I'll fill it and remind myself to read it every now and then to gain inspiration. 

Oh, and I also made a few plans for my comeback on youtube. (lol, not really) I made some plans for vlogs and things I can do in the vlogs to make things more interesting. The next step is to plan and create an "acting video" as I call them, and film a character. I think it't time for a comedy this time! 

Over and out! 

Inspirational Roundtables

Here are 3 really inspiring episodes of "The Hollywood Reporters - Roundtables" - It feel so good hearing from professionals that the face the very same issues you do. I recommend every actor, person in the business to listen and learn.  

The day after the show

We just finished wrapping up the show "Dance all the way", and it was a success. WE got some really good reviews and wow what an amazing audience, they were so present with us. And all the compliments after the show, was a bit overwhelming, and I couldn't comprehend what they where saying. (as always I can't take compliments, and I think they're all lying to me just to make me feel good). I was exhausted after the 3 shows. The fact that I burst into tears and have a really emotional scene 3 times in a row was just exhausting, but very interesting (I've learnt a lot). I heard from my friends grand mother "He cried real tears". To b fair it was harder than it might have seen, once I let go it comes naturally, but before that is a whole different journey. But I'm super glad it turned out the way it did, I lived very truthfully under the imaginary circumstances, so I'm proud of my performances. 


Still, I can't comprehend the day after... It's always hard to wake up the day efter the show is wrapped up and feel good.
The first thought on my mind was "Was I good enough?" "Did I really perform well" "Was my storytelling, monologues believable" - What I've heard, the answer is yes. But then comes the subconscious and tells me otherwise. It's really annoying, I should just let it go, and trust the audience, they wouldn't have given us a standing O and told me how good I performed this character and the scene if they didn't really think so, then they would have been silent. 
So this is something I have to work on, and I know it. I need to work on the trust issue. But that goes deeper than I first thought. I will do my best to find tools to deal with this issue so I can finally start trusting people. 

I did feel good yesterday, and I felt like i lived in the moment, and went on the ride and was open to whatever was coming my way. I just feel like I need to gain more confidence. In order to gain more confidence I need to learn to master my voice technique, and to teach my self it's okay to fail, it's what makes you better and helps you try new things that will later lead you to the right choices. LET GO MORE FELIX, HAVE FUN! 

IT was an amazing experience and I can say that I've learnt so much,  not only as an actor but as a dancer, creator, writer and about myself. I loved every second about it, and already miss it. But now it's time for vacation and to let everything sink in! Then clear the mind and find a new project to take on! 

           

Showtime

With only 4 days left before the opening, I've received yet another cold... (I'm freaking out). On top of this I have to face the constant struggle to overcome the anxious thinking about my ability to perform and portray this character (not the first time, It's part of the job), I know.. this happens every time, It's just in my head, something I really need work on and overcome. I try to remember all this successful rehearsals that I've had, and print that into my head, I know how to do this. And I've got some great response from the people watching, I just need to remind myself of that, and leave everything else outside of my head. I can do this! I can do this! I can do this!  But sometimes I feel like with everything going on around my I have a hard time focusing, I need to learn how to shut that out! 

I've found that, meditation, calming music, relaxing and mindfulness helps a lot. I just need to keep doing it and become a master of it. (lol) 

With all this going on, I'm actually really excited about the show, and to perform, and stretch my boundaries and develop as an actor, and step out of my comfort zone. I love the art that we create on stage and in front of the camera and would never trade anything for it. I just wanna keep doing this for the rest of my life, learn more and tell great stories. 

Tommy is such an interesting Character and I really feel a connection to him. The difficult part is that he's dying from Cancer and can't do anything about it but to live on with his life. And that's what I admire in him, he uses that negativity to bring out something good inside of him (he got the kick he needed). He could have just given up, but instead he tries even harder to find something to fight for, a goal and live life to the fullest. And I've learnt during the process that that's exactly how I would do it too. I've learnt a lot about the 70th, 80th and 90th, about Leukaemia, about myself, about life after death, about choices that some people have to make. I'm so grateful, and I love Drama and the fact that I can call myself a drama actor, but I still think I'm more of a fantasy, adventure, horror kind of actor. Honestly I just love to tell stories! 

It's been a learning experience with two shows running at the same time and It's been difficult to process everything that's been going on. I've had an open mind and it's only given me good things. I'm taking (I will at least try) 1 month off, after all this, to charge up the batteries and disappear into the imaginary world of meditation and infinity. Also to learn more about life and who I am. I'm going to make trip to London to visit some friends and do the Christmas shopping there. I'm also gonna go to the gym, and catch up on all the episodes of my favourite shows the I've been missing out on. AND READ A LOT OF BOOKS! 

I love that I can turn to this blog and just abreact/let off some steam, it's amazing!! 

I'm going to bed now, long day tomorrow and the rest of this week! 

Night

Let's be human

Hey, let's be human for a second, here are some photos from my biggest source of inspiration (that's very human of me right?) LA. I miss it every day that passes. It's now been over a month since I got back to Sweden (AND IT SUCKS). I also uploaded my last LA vlog to YouTube. My LA journey on Youtube got 6 episodes to it, gonna watch them every day when the winter comes. Speaking of winter it's already cold here, summer is over and it's fall... 

That'll be all!

Stop what you're doing

Take 2 deep breath and count to 8 both times
Tell yourself to let go of all control
Tell yourself you no longer have control
Tell yourself it's okay to let go, you're open to receive whatever is coming your way
Give up
Give in
Give away 

This is the process I'm trying to teach myself to do every time I go on stage, before entering a set or audition or when I'm about to start digging in a characters life. It helps a lot. Just stop what you're doing take 2 minutes to do this and reconnect your mind to the heart and the hear and now. 

Felix Martinsson

I'm currently reading "The Actor's Art and Craft" by William Espner. It's about The Meisner Technique (fucking brilliant) and it made me start to think a lot about what and who I am as an actor, and it made me question my techniques which is totally fine. That means I'm learning something, I gotta say I love it, I don't agree with everything the method has to offer but a lot is actually accurate. 

I also read a few interesting articles about us actors, and what we keep forgetting, and It's so true I had to stop doing everything I was doing and just think for a moment. 

It said something like "we can not forget to live in the moment and stop being actors for a second or our reality will be that we are actors at all time and that will make us bad actors. Because actors has to know what it's like to live in the moment so they can then portray it..." and that made me think... I need to stop doing what I'm doing and be human, stop practicing, but then I remembered I had read about alway practicing your craft... which made me very confused. So my solution is to try and find a balance. 

How do you find a balance then? Tricky question. I think as long as you're not over doing it, you're doing it right. (honestly I'm still bit confused on what to think) 

The thing is it made me realise I need to find myself again, I need to reconnect my past, the ground that I've built myself up on. So that's what I'm doing, and without even realising it. I just started 2 new projects that requires me as an actor to play myself Felix Martinsson (which is really fucking scary, and I totally understand why actors in the business say it's the scariest thing to do, because they have nothing to hide behind). But I feel like I'm on the right track, and that this could be the beginning of something new. 

Laughing Chewbacca

So I havn't shared anything in a while, but this is worth sharing.. I can't get enough of this women! she is amazing and I love her for spreading this happiness and not giving a shit! (role model right there) Watch it and you'll understand what I'm talking about.

New head shot?

UPDATE: I'm currently trying to combine both work and studies! (conclusion: not that easy) I'm super tired, but I'm hanging in there, trying the best I can. I find it so hard to work with 3 different characters, but I'm not giving up! This is what I was ment to do and what I'm passionate about, so I just have to keep on fighting! 

Instead of studying, I've been editing my new head shots and watching YouTube. (I need to stop and start being productive). So I'm gonna stop writing this post right now, because I need to get shit done! 15 days left before the audition and 89 days left before I'm back in LA. Life is good! 

Quick update

I feel like it's been awhile since I did an update. (you're kidding right? it's been almost a month) I just had a great morning, went out for brunch with a friend (and it was the best brunch buffé I've ever had)then walked back home. Perfect start on a Saturday!

I've come far on my research work on the monologues, finished two only one left and I can start portraying them. I finally feel calm, I just need to memorise them inside out and know everything about them and the character and I should be ready for the audition in April! 

Another exciting thing - The Oscars 2016 is ahead of us, and I'm very excited about the nominees (two nominations for Sweden, which is amazing). I hope either "Mad Max: fury road" or "The Martian" wins Best Picture. That's all I'll comment on this, because otherwise I would have to change the headline of this post (lol).

Visit the official Oscars website here...

Happy New Year!

 

I had such a great New Years Eve with friends, drinks, food and playing lots board games. Just the perfect ending to 2015.  

I'll try to eat healthier, and only eat candy and unhealthy stuff on the weekends. Also gonna bust my ass off, so that I get into the acting school I've applied to, AND to get at least one big gig this year (I hate to call it my new years resolutions, but I guess they are. The question is will I be able to keep them)!! 

Fingers crossed! HAPPY NEW YEAR!