Woke up early and rested this morning (again, thanks to jet lag) It's Christmas Eve, the day Sweden celebrates Christmas. But I don't really feel Christmassy at all. All I want for Christmas is to be home watching films eat lots of food and enjoy a whole day of relaxation. We'll see about that, I've got a feeling I'll be going all around town today.
I've felt like something is missing for a few days now, and all I can think of is that I miss LA, I miss my new friends in LA, I miss the magically feeling I get in LA. I want to go back, filming working on my craft and write stories. I really want to find inspiration to writing my stalking experience both as a book and a movie script, It's left a mark on me that I can't quite leave alone, I feel like I have to deal with it, and this is my way of dealing with it!
I'm gonna make my days mission to stay at home with mom and her partner, watch a film and enjoy Christmas!
Merry Christmas
lördag 23 december 2017
onsdag 20 december 2017
Coming home for Christmas
This is what I call quality time! Looking out the window to find the whole neighbourhood covered in snow, updating the blog and now about to read all the special editions of TIME. Gonna do some christmas present prepping later too and then a holiday roast dinner with the family tonight. Happy Holidays!
tisdag 19 december 2017
Infinity
I woke up in the middle of the night (3 am to be exact), feeling confused but fully rested. I checked the window and found a winter wonderland outside the window, I realised I was back in Sweden. I'm back for Christmas, it's really nice I can smell the fir-tree/Xmas tree and the smell of fruit and coffee. It's amazing.
Now, I've always been obsessed with space, star wars, aliens and so on, and these past weeks my obsession has been greater than usual, first of all the new Star Wars film had premier "The last Jedi" (which was amazing) but also all these news about space, a new solar system like our own, and this spaceship flying around our planet earth moving. Watched the news this morning on the TV to learn they're (pretty) sure there are alien life closer to us then we thing (I FUCKING NEW IT!!!), and they showed some clip of this spaceship and I lost my cool. I'm so excited about this, and I cant understand the people who say it's a wast of money to put into projects like this to do research about this spaceship and everything else connected to space. Don't you want to know if there are alien life out there, don't you want to find a new species maybe other humans, that we can learn stuff from??
It's probably because they cant handle this ambiguous situation, but I mean come on!!
I volunteer to be the first to meet with these aliens, I'm so ready, and I mean I really mean it, I WANT TO MEET WITH THESE ALIENS! I think I could really bring something, since I'm an actor, I'm really good at putting myself in other peoples shoes and reading people, so I'd love to use that when meeting with the aliens! Id commit to this assignment (if given) and go through training if needed! I'm READY!
Now, I've always been obsessed with space, star wars, aliens and so on, and these past weeks my obsession has been greater than usual, first of all the new Star Wars film had premier "The last Jedi" (which was amazing) but also all these news about space, a new solar system like our own, and this spaceship flying around our planet earth moving. Watched the news this morning on the TV to learn they're (pretty) sure there are alien life closer to us then we thing (I FUCKING NEW IT!!!), and they showed some clip of this spaceship and I lost my cool. I'm so excited about this, and I cant understand the people who say it's a wast of money to put into projects like this to do research about this spaceship and everything else connected to space. Don't you want to know if there are alien life out there, don't you want to find a new species maybe other humans, that we can learn stuff from??
It's probably because they cant handle this ambiguous situation, but I mean come on!!
I volunteer to be the first to meet with these aliens, I'm so ready, and I mean I really mean it, I WANT TO MEET WITH THESE ALIENS! I think I could really bring something, since I'm an actor, I'm really good at putting myself in other peoples shoes and reading people, so I'd love to use that when meeting with the aliens! Id commit to this assignment (if given) and go through training if needed! I'm READY!
tisdag 12 december 2017
Christmas
It's only 6 days until we fly back to Sweden for the Holidays. I'm actually looking forward to it, hopefully there's some snow. I never thought I would say that but I actually hope there's going to be snow when I get back. It's funny how the things you have you don't want and the things you don't have you want. I think that's very interesting. I used to HATE snow, and especially the cold but now I look forward to it, but it's probably just because I'll only be there for 10 days so I know I'll be back in LA where it's warmer. I gotta say though, the Christmas decorations in LA is insane, love them! I think I might watch some xmas movies today actually to see if I can get in the right spirit for xmas. I also wanna get back into reading, but can't find the focus for it in our apartment, should probably go somewhere. Actually I want to edit my reel too... We'll see what happens, I'm free all day, so I'll do what I want whenever I want.
OKAY
Here we are the Director and cast of Okay coming out next year! Exciting stuff!
What to expect - Christmas decorations, funny background moments, me making out in the stairwell, bitch faces and more!
Apartment 316
måndag 11 december 2017
It feels like home
I can't even remember the last time I sat down to go over what's been happening in my life, around me and in my career. I don'r even know if I've put down to words that I now no longer live in Sweden but in Hollywood, Los Angeles. I moved here September 14th and today is the December 11, so I've lived here for 87 days (crazy how time flies). I finally feel at home. The other day when I was driving to set (yes booked a gig) I remember thinking, I actually live here, I drive the roads across LA, I breath the air (not so fresh) of LA, I've got an apartment in the centre of attention Hollywood and I study my life's passion.
So as I'm writing this a lot have happened, and I don't even know where to begin. What I know for sure is it's been a roller coaster, lot's of up and downs. Arguments with the roommate (whom Is like my sister), difficulties explaining/expressing myself, difficulties in class, not enough time and so on. I keep a journal where I write these things down, to keep reminding myself you move on and forget, you grow and get better. But there, when it's happening, in the moment and hours after before I rest my head on the pillow and fall a sleep, my mind wont let what ever's bothering me go. So I try to bring some awareness to it to remind myself it's going to be really good.
I've had WOW moments in class where the teachers have told me amazing stuff to boost me, some things where I go "Am I really that good". My favourite class has been the Voice and moment class, I've never learned so much about myself and my body / my instrument as I did in that class with our amazing teacher Kellynn. It was definitely the highlight of the year. I've learned so much, and now I see that acting for camera is harder than I first thought, it's so technical, and I don't care what people say about acting being the same for stage, because it's not! Yes we aim to live truthfully and in the moment, but it's a whole different flow and technique. Hitting a mark on stage is at least 98% easier then hitting it in front of the camera. Not to mention cheating the camera, It makes me feel so stiff and dead I could complain about it for hours. That's definitely something I'm gonna work with to get used to. But yeah this first quarter has really been testing how much I trust myself. Which has been a learning experience. I know know for sure, that when I trust myself and put a little of that "What ever", "I don't care" feeling into my acting or before they call action, that's when I really shine and show them I can do this.
I could talk about the life here in LA for hours, but I don't want to do that. I just want to document the first time I've been here. I'm now in my room on the third floor in me and my roommates 1 bed 1 bath apartment. I can hear the traffic and crickets outside my window, if I want to I can adjust the blinders so that I can see Downtown from my bed. It's amazing! I love my life here. All this wouldn't be available if I didn't meet all these amazing people too, I've meet lots of people from different parts of the world. And I think I finally found someone I'll be friend with for a long time, he's like a brother I never had, and I keep getting surprised how alike we are which is fucking awesome. I just feel like we're gonna end up being able to be super quite next to each other and not fucking care, and that's something I value in friends. Also this dude opened up my eyes and ears to a new way of watching films, listening to the music, which I was just barely scratching the surface of before. I knew how important sound and music was but now I find it mind blowing and how the creative process works, is freaking awesome!
So, I've got a place to stay, I got a car, I've got friends and I've got a lot of experiences already. Now the only thing missing and the thing I had hoped would happen at least in the third quarter already happened, I was cast in a short film as the supporting actor and then I got a job as an extra in another bigger production, also short film. This whole week I've been on set, and last night was really interesting. I got to be a soldier, and I think I managed to give them some good stuff, I surprised them with the shouting action anyway so that's something. The director even remembered me by my name which says a lot. I wouldn't call it an extra job though, because they asked a lot of us, we had a lot of cues and marks. Super grateful for both opportunities (I mean two projects to add to your resume already)!
Now I'm gonna go to bed, I've got no more classes, and were soon going back to Sweden for the holidays which I'm actually very excited about. I really want to try and update this "blog" more often I find it calming and rehabilitating.
So as I'm writing this a lot have happened, and I don't even know where to begin. What I know for sure is it's been a roller coaster, lot's of up and downs. Arguments with the roommate (whom Is like my sister), difficulties explaining/expressing myself, difficulties in class, not enough time and so on. I keep a journal where I write these things down, to keep reminding myself you move on and forget, you grow and get better. But there, when it's happening, in the moment and hours after before I rest my head on the pillow and fall a sleep, my mind wont let what ever's bothering me go. So I try to bring some awareness to it to remind myself it's going to be really good.
I've had WOW moments in class where the teachers have told me amazing stuff to boost me, some things where I go "Am I really that good". My favourite class has been the Voice and moment class, I've never learned so much about myself and my body / my instrument as I did in that class with our amazing teacher Kellynn. It was definitely the highlight of the year. I've learned so much, and now I see that acting for camera is harder than I first thought, it's so technical, and I don't care what people say about acting being the same for stage, because it's not! Yes we aim to live truthfully and in the moment, but it's a whole different flow and technique. Hitting a mark on stage is at least 98% easier then hitting it in front of the camera. Not to mention cheating the camera, It makes me feel so stiff and dead I could complain about it for hours. That's definitely something I'm gonna work with to get used to. But yeah this first quarter has really been testing how much I trust myself. Which has been a learning experience. I know know for sure, that when I trust myself and put a little of that "What ever", "I don't care" feeling into my acting or before they call action, that's when I really shine and show them I can do this.
I could talk about the life here in LA for hours, but I don't want to do that. I just want to document the first time I've been here. I'm now in my room on the third floor in me and my roommates 1 bed 1 bath apartment. I can hear the traffic and crickets outside my window, if I want to I can adjust the blinders so that I can see Downtown from my bed. It's amazing! I love my life here. All this wouldn't be available if I didn't meet all these amazing people too, I've meet lots of people from different parts of the world. And I think I finally found someone I'll be friend with for a long time, he's like a brother I never had, and I keep getting surprised how alike we are which is fucking awesome. I just feel like we're gonna end up being able to be super quite next to each other and not fucking care, and that's something I value in friends. Also this dude opened up my eyes and ears to a new way of watching films, listening to the music, which I was just barely scratching the surface of before. I knew how important sound and music was but now I find it mind blowing and how the creative process works, is freaking awesome!
So, I've got a place to stay, I got a car, I've got friends and I've got a lot of experiences already. Now the only thing missing and the thing I had hoped would happen at least in the third quarter already happened, I was cast in a short film as the supporting actor and then I got a job as an extra in another bigger production, also short film. This whole week I've been on set, and last night was really interesting. I got to be a soldier, and I think I managed to give them some good stuff, I surprised them with the shouting action anyway so that's something. The director even remembered me by my name which says a lot. I wouldn't call it an extra job though, because they asked a lot of us, we had a lot of cues and marks. Super grateful for both opportunities (I mean two projects to add to your resume already)!
Now I'm gonna go to bed, I've got no more classes, and were soon going back to Sweden for the holidays which I'm actually very excited about. I really want to try and update this "blog" more often I find it calming and rehabilitating.
torsdag 17 augusti 2017
Great News
So, It's been a while (not that I HAVE to update continually, I set the term for that) and I've missed writing down my thoughts here. This blog is still not in the public eye (yet). When I started this blog I decided to keep it for myself but still in the public/online, I just never told anyone about it. But I might do it soon.
A lot have happened since my last post in December... I've finished the "Kevin Spacey Teaches Acting" online class (so happy I took it, I learned a lot from it). I've wrapped up the "Trigger of Happiness" production with two successful shows.I've completed my third and last season of the "Summer Theatre" in our beautiful park in my shitty town. I've taken a few days off to just enjoy our landscape, the nature and fresh air. I've read lots of books, I've practiced english, I've worked on my craft and now officially been accepted to UCLA where I'll be studying Acting for at least one year (which is super FUCKING exciting).
I've been wanting to move to LA and study acting for years and finally found the right time.
I'm ready to leave everything and start a new chapter in a different environment (I will miss my family and friends though), where people understand me and the profession I'm dedicating my life to. I'm ready to live as though it is my last day on this earth every day, and take risks and NOT hold back no matter what the situation is.
The UCLA Acting certificate program offers me a variety of classes, they even offer the workshop "Meisner Technique" that I've been wanting to study since I read the book, there are a lot of classes too, that I've been wanting to study and now it's happening. I can see how my toolbox will fill up once I'm there, and nothing is stopping me.
I've come to realise after having a conversation with a friend about mindfulness, meditation and the unknown powers I believe we possess. That as long as we visualise the things we strive for, want to fullfil (dreams, goals etc.) and believe in ourselves, I think we can accomplish what ever we want (maybe even casting spells or what ever your imagination comes up with).
Think about it, how many times have the person you've been thinking about calling, called you instead, before you had the time to do it. I don't think that's a coincidence, I believe there is some greater power going on in our minds that we can't comprehend. But playing with the thought, visualising the things we want to achieve, believing and not holding back, not doubting ourselves - I think that's the key to accomplish anything.
It might sound crazy to some people, and I bet they're either Swedish or somewhat related to a swede, because the majority of the swedes can not think, perceive or accept information with an open mind even though they might say they are. I read in my psychology book that some things are innate qualities and I think this is one of them (of course there are exceptions, but they're fewer then it should be) - Conclusion: BE OPEN MINDED!
Fuck, things got deep... but that's nothing new, my mind is like the space, infinite! AND I LOVE IT, it's great for when you study characters and try to come up with clever choices for your character.
A lot have happened since my last post in December... I've finished the "Kevin Spacey Teaches Acting" online class (so happy I took it, I learned a lot from it). I've wrapped up the "Trigger of Happiness" production with two successful shows.I've completed my third and last season of the "Summer Theatre" in our beautiful park in my shitty town. I've taken a few days off to just enjoy our landscape, the nature and fresh air. I've read lots of books, I've practiced english, I've worked on my craft and now officially been accepted to UCLA where I'll be studying Acting for at least one year (which is super FUCKING exciting).
I've been wanting to move to LA and study acting for years and finally found the right time.
I'm ready to leave everything and start a new chapter in a different environment (I will miss my family and friends though), where people understand me and the profession I'm dedicating my life to. I'm ready to live as though it is my last day on this earth every day, and take risks and NOT hold back no matter what the situation is.
The UCLA Acting certificate program offers me a variety of classes, they even offer the workshop "Meisner Technique" that I've been wanting to study since I read the book, there are a lot of classes too, that I've been wanting to study and now it's happening. I can see how my toolbox will fill up once I'm there, and nothing is stopping me.
I've come to realise after having a conversation with a friend about mindfulness, meditation and the unknown powers I believe we possess. That as long as we visualise the things we strive for, want to fullfil (dreams, goals etc.) and believe in ourselves, I think we can accomplish what ever we want (maybe even casting spells or what ever your imagination comes up with).
Think about it, how many times have the person you've been thinking about calling, called you instead, before you had the time to do it. I don't think that's a coincidence, I believe there is some greater power going on in our minds that we can't comprehend. But playing with the thought, visualising the things we want to achieve, believing and not holding back, not doubting ourselves - I think that's the key to accomplish anything.
It might sound crazy to some people, and I bet they're either Swedish or somewhat related to a swede, because the majority of the swedes can not think, perceive or accept information with an open mind even though they might say they are. I read in my psychology book that some things are innate qualities and I think this is one of them (of course there are exceptions, but they're fewer then it should be) - Conclusion: BE OPEN MINDED!
Fuck, things got deep... but that's nothing new, my mind is like the space, infinite! AND I LOVE IT, it's great for when you study characters and try to come up with clever choices for your character.
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