It feels like home

I can't even remember the last time I sat down to go over what's been happening in my life, around me and in my career. I don'r even know if I've put down to words that I now no longer live in Sweden but in Hollywood, Los Angeles. I moved here September 14th and today is the December 11, so I've lived here for 87 days (crazy how time flies). I finally feel at home. The other day when I was driving to set (yes booked a gig) I remember thinking, I actually live here, I drive the roads across LA, I breath the air (not so fresh) of LA, I've got an apartment in the centre of attention Hollywood and I study my life's passion. 

So as I'm writing this a lot have happened, and I don't even know where to begin. What I know for sure is it's been a roller coaster, lot's of up and downs. Arguments with the roommate (whom Is like my sister), difficulties explaining/expressing myself, difficulties in class, not enough time and so on. I keep a journal where I write these things down, to keep reminding myself you move on and forget, you grow and get better. But there, when it's happening, in the moment and hours after before I rest my head on the pillow and fall a sleep, my mind wont let what ever's bothering me go. So I try to bring some awareness to it to remind myself it's going to be really good. 

I've had WOW moments in class where the teachers have told me amazing stuff to boost me, some things where I go "Am I really that good".  My favourite class has been the Voice and moment class, I've never learned so much about myself and my body / my instrument as I did in that class with our amazing teacher Kellynn. It was definitely the highlight of the year. I've learned so much, and now I see that acting for camera is harder than I first thought, it's so technical, and I don't  care what people say about acting being the same for stage, because it's not! Yes we aim to live truthfully and in the moment, but it's a whole different flow and technique. Hitting a mark on stage is  at least 98% easier then hitting it in front of the camera. Not to mention cheating the camera, It makes me feel so stiff and dead I could complain about it for hours. That's definitely something I'm gonna work with to get used to. But yeah this first quarter has really been testing how much I trust myself. Which has been a learning experience. I know know for sure, that when I trust myself and put a little of that "What ever", "I don't care" feeling into my acting or before they call action, that's when I really shine and show them I can do this. 

I could talk about the life here in LA for hours, but I don't want to do that. I just want to document the first time I've been here. I'm now in my room on the third floor in me and my roommates 1 bed 1 bath apartment. I can hear the traffic and crickets outside my window, if I want to I can adjust the blinders so that I can see Downtown from my bed. It's amazing! I love my life here. All this wouldn't be available if I didn't meet all these amazing people too, I've meet lots of people from different parts of the world. And I think I finally found someone I'll be friend with for a long time, he's like a brother I never had, and I keep getting surprised how alike we are which is fucking awesome. I just feel like we're gonna end up being able to be super quite next to each other and not fucking care, and that's something I value in friends. Also this dude opened up my eyes and ears to a new way of watching films, listening to the music, which I was just barely scratching the surface of before. I knew how important sound and music was but now I find it mind blowing and how the creative process works, is freaking awesome! 

So, I've got a place to stay, I got a car, I've got friends and I've got a lot of experiences already. Now the only thing missing and the thing I had hoped would happen at least in the third quarter already happened, I was cast in a short film as the supporting actor and then I got a job as an extra in another bigger production, also short film. This whole week I've been on set, and last night was really interesting. I got to be a soldier, and I think I managed to give them some good stuff, I surprised them with the shouting action anyway so that's something. The director even remembered me by my name which says a lot. I wouldn't call it an extra job though, because they asked a lot of us, we had a lot of cues and marks. Super grateful for both opportunities (I mean two projects to add to your resume already)! 

Now I'm gonna go to bed, I've got no more classes, and were soon going back to Sweden for the holidays which I'm actually very excited about. I really want to try and update this "blog" more often I find it calming and rehabilitating.